[ merdeka ]

tanggal 31, bulan lapan lima puluh tujuh~ merdeka~merdeka~
jalur gemilang~~~
owh,
why am i singing here?
sudah sam pat xD
tommorrow hari kemerdekaan lar,
am no feeling at all!
tak tau kenapa~
missing secondary school lar,
the time we holding a small piece of paper singing merdeka song at tapak perhimpunan =)
the whole month is full of merdeka atmosphere..
but now i really got no feeling at all =(
whatever lar..
hoy! i have done my BM paper today,
is another paper that i would die nicely =) deng!
few more days to go, 1 more paper to go! yay ~!

*

i want pergi travel so badly lar,
i cant wait the exam finish!
i want to relax! i want to release!
i want i want i want =)

她想带着它浪迹天涯♥

[ exam ]

alright.
finally im here.
is been awhile that i didn't blog for it.
i have started my first semester's final exam.
one word to describe. "exhausted"
yea, fight to the maximum is an exhausted thingy to do so.
and people have 5 subject to go, but i got 6 subject to go. so damn!
and most awful things is i just ended my Sunday's paper which mean today's paper.
Lol, guess what? i die nicely for this paper.
although i tried my very best to memorize those mass comm thingy. but still, i failed to remember during exam =(
was not in the exam mood already,
my holiday mood is flying to me, maybe just because the awful paper have over?
i should remain in exam mood lar~
2 more papers to go. well.. tell hard to myself, i can do it =) 3 or 4 days didn't sleep, so what?
become nenek saja mar..
owh, realize that my physical strength really become a nenek or aunty already.
i want to exercise more after exam!!
lazy to upload photo,
later dulu lar~ =D

if you cant do it,
don't ever promise me,
i hate people break promise.

[ ouchh! ]

i know that im getting thinner >.<

这篇东西本来应该是昨天post的..
电脑被霸着了~
我等到累了睡觉去了..

每次要下定决心留在家,
我多害怕说出口..
我宁可溜去学校..
要不是学校真的没办法读进脑,
我不会留在家..
1年365天,
真的没有多少个weekday我是留在家的,
10个, 不! 是5个手指可以数完..
继续用责备的眼光来看我,
打从帮他开始,
这种眼光没有停止过,
我是应该要习惯的,
但是在责备我之前,
请你们想想你们为他的事业付出过什么?
我付出的, 几乎是我童年的全部..
从小就呆在店,
18年来风雨不改..
我童年影像深刻的就是电单车..
姐姐都不爱带我出去,
她们嫌带着我一个小孩子麻烦..
现在她们为人父母,
不管小孩有多麻烦,
她们还是牵着到处走..
而我该有的幸福,
也渐渐被那群小孩占领了..
我决定的所有是错的,
跟着你们的意思才是对的..
因为我来到这世界,
本来就是一个错误.
不是我不想乐观,
每当我乐观了起来,
悲观会把我推进地狱.

*

对着你,
我觉得好累.
已经累得没办法形容.
那种痛, 我不会比你少.
我实在兼顾不了学业,家庭和你给我的压力.
不要逼我走向悬崖的一天.
同样的话,
考完试, 我会自动现身.

擦干眼泪, 是时候全力冲刺!

[ e x a m ]

i know,
my hair is getting messy and long >.<

hoy! guess what?
i no need to go for college today, and i can stay at home as well =)
slept early yesterday night,
a great rainy night to sleep =)
but i dint study for yesterday night.. >.<
so, i have to study gao gao for today!
what to do? my english is not good enough, hard to understand and memorize~ arghhh
the time always like to rushing me, i know that i lazy~ =push push push=
owh ya, end up the last class with miss kik with happiness yesterday.
i do miss her =)
she is a good tutor and lecturer, may god bless her =)
although she is straight forward, but i still like it. hoho X)

seriously, mass comm driving me crazy >.<
awful paper,
with awful lecturer,
with awful exam time table!
said by someone xD
yes, you are totally right!
why awful exam time table? because?
it is on sunday lar..
so damn wei..
my first time,
sunday kena exam =.=""
FML~

feel like want to eat maggie so badly,
THOW MEI LI, no maggie until the exam is finish!
ya la ya la, i know lar >.<

urgh!
be weary of you!
stay far from me.

[ in one ]

finally,
我把我的男朋友带回家了..
很好, 我成功的欠下一笔钱, part time please~~
这次没有怎样特别的感觉,
可能之前所有的感觉都涌过来了,
所以还ok..
但是hor,
我不会用叻..我亲爱的mushroom aunty @_@, teach me~~

*

我整个人慌神去了,
为什么?
拜考试所赐咯!
i tell you, final exam is really driving me crazy!
and the first time, i feel guilty because of something~~no next time please, not secondary anymore! 我知错了 >.<
朋友们, 麻烦这段时期不要约我考试后去哪里去哪里,
那样会让我分心..
不要问我什么时候考完试, 然后这里plan那里plan,
要知道, 很难maintain college朋友和自己的朋友一起的时间..
考完试了我会自动现身..
上天保佑, 请让我顺利过关 @_@

*

为什么最近chat box多了那么多莫名其妙的东西?
go away la, go away la..
i don't want to link you and follow you lar..shooo~~

*

不要以为我很在乎,
你们不出现,
我的世界很安宁..
我是我, 从来都没有属于你们.

*如果有一天你不再听见我呱呱叫, 而你是在乎我的, 那么那该是你害怕的时候*

秋天来临,

满地都是凋谢的花瓣.

[ BYE! ]

我不该多手按,
我该死的..
我的心失落到极点,
我的脑里猜的东西太多了..
我不想猜,
我不想看,
我不想知道了..
你的一切已经够了!
BYE BYE!

爱你可以很多理由,

放弃你一个理由就很够了!

[ B R E A T H ]

lalala~
is freaking tired these day..
is getting exhausted these day..
is getting more sam pat and abnormal these day..
congratulation to me =)
exam! exam! exam!
everyone is talking bout exam now..
whoa! big stone jatuh kepada saya~ sakit la wei~
pressure~~~ i can feel you!
push myself to the maximum now!
alright, i gonna miss my beloved for 3 weeks ++
i have no time to meet him lar =(
awww.. so sad..
MISS Thow Mei Li,
please study hard in everything =)

你的电话坏掉对我来说是好事,

因为我不想看见你出现在我手机荧幕上.

请在来临的几个星期你的手机继续坏掉,

那么我不会看见你而感到烦恼.

facebook你不会找我,

都知道为什么.

msn看见你online我会自动offline.

由此可见, 我多么不想你影响我读书心情..

although i did not be your secret love,

but in your heart,

i still consider as a "secret"..

i knew it!

don't need to explain!

[................]

I'm FUCKING speechless..

[ 放不开的一部分 ]

遭遇太多挫折,
会让我觉得恐惧..
摄影跟爱情一样..
都让人痛彻心扉..
我知道坚持了那么久就不该放弃,
但是太多挫折,
会让我那团火渐渐小去~
我什么时候才可以不把摄影当作一部份?
那么我就不会为此而感到伤心难过.. ='(

[ 舔傷 ]

龚柯允-舔伤
作詞：詞：小寒 作曲：曲：陳威全
對你不會再等待 這個壞習慣要改
總是等在最後排 能等個什麼未來

給我的溫柔你就算再慷慨 再也不能將我的意志收買
把我從你身邊扯開 心是會碎的 這才明白

自己舔傷 我此刻還能靠在誰肩膀
不再假裝 我還能寄望 什麼 願望 不忘
想自己舔傷 我躲起來讓時間去調養
把淚光 痊癒成為一種成長

傷口不需要掩蓋 愛不愛沒人理睬
有時想徹底釋懷 人就該停止徘徊

給我的溫柔你就算再慷慨 再也不能將我的意志收買
把我從你身邊扯開 心是會碎的 這才明白

自己舔傷 我此刻還能靠在誰肩膀
不再假裝 我還能寄望 什麼 願望 不忘
想自己舔傷 我躲起來偷用時間去調養
把淚光 痊癒成為一種成長

自己舔傷 我對你的愛不再對誰講
不想偽裝 我接受失望 會講 期望 遺忘
我自己舔傷 卻包紮不住對你的回想

會怎樣 若我還在 你的身旁 喔 自己舔傷

她替我表达了内心的话..

[ =X ]

if you are here to hurt me,

congratulations!

you did it successful and you did it well!

[ shit ]

mother fucker..
i just cant stop thinking bout you..
i just cant control my tears falling out from my eyes..
you stop asking me whether I'm doing fine or not.
lying is full of tiredness..
final exam is on the way kill me..
and I'm waiting and thinking which way to die is better..
3 more weeks to go..
so great.
i should release out all my bad mood and pressure.
hidden up everything for 3 weeks. if possible to do it. NO! must do it.
Miss THOW MEI LI..
can you be brave?

[ them X) ]

tar college ada satu bagus,
banyak *star* come to our college.. XD
Lol..there is a event on our college today..
nampak the photo? 曾国辉le.. XD 真人比上镜好看 XD
另外两个有点冷咯, 一个josh赖力豪, 一个是香港的dennis梧桐..不懂是不是酱写 XD
有点fish的感觉 *_*
喔, 第一次当小粉丝的感觉~~很好笑!!
哈哈哈!
下次神木与瞳please >.<

[ release please ]

I'm freaking tired today..
my eye feel uncomfortable for whole day..
wake up early in the morning as usual,
went to college early in the morning study for the EM..
but still the same,
i couldn't squeeze much point inside my brain besides of those things that i study when mid-term exam..
I'm behaving like ghost now..
again, i skipped HE class today,
headed to meet my beloved and looking for something that i wanted to buy, but failed..
uncle sun is quite active today,
he don't allow me to meet my beloved for too long =(
so? go back lar..
my stomach is playing game with me today,
i have boom the toilet for 134294 times! owh god!

miss kik is awesome,

i love miss kik =)

for sure,

i will miss her after this semester finish.

''for those who are not study,

you are lucky.

because others is study for you.

please study for next week,

because lucky cannot be twice.

you will not lucky forever.''

said by miss kik.

i love the words,

lucky cannot be twice,

you will not lucky forever.

i be unlucky always,

the same meaning,

i told myself,

i will not be unlucky forever =)

想自私的占有你,

但不被理智允许,

这个坏习惯要改.

我要停止徘徊,

把我从你身边扯开,

不要再将我的意志收买.

不再把自己的眼泪压抑,

它有流出来的自由..

把泪光, 痊愈成为一种成长.

[ sick of ]

if tmr test's marks is included in final,

for sure,

i will fail it!

i need someone to talk so badly =(

[ heartbreaker ]

i dint know that i would sink into this kind of situation..
seriously, i lost my soul..for few days..
i do miss you,
i do love you..
but why?
i know that a girl stay beside you, but is far away from you..
i don't know how much she love you..
i don't know how much you love her..
i don't know how much you gave me~
i do feel it~ the care you gave me, the different love you gave me..
but its full of hurt..do you know that?
your behaving is make fall deeply on you,
i have to control myself, but i cant..
i should stand on the safe side, but you pull into the danger..
you are playing fire..
do you know how much i hate myself?
i hate that i love you, i hate that why i falling for you..
you said that I'm important, but i don't know how important i am..
thinking in another way..
maybe i just a spare tyre for you, because your girl is just far away from you..
the question you ask, is rolling inside my brain.. make me cant concentrate on anything..
"secret love"..the only way i can be..
do you know how much you hurt me when you ask me to be your secret love?
why? just tell me why?
if i dint know myself, would you tell me that you have a girl?
you said if i be the secret love, i would be tough..
no doubt, it will be and happen..
i do want to accept it..
but i know i cant.. i wont forgive myself if i do that..i will despise myself if i do that..
please just don't betray your girl,
if i am her, i will feel like killing myself
i act like nothing in front of you,
but i being a stupid in front of myself ='(
i have nobody to talk,
everybody seems like busy for their own things.
i don't know what people will think on me if i told them..
for sure, the first things they would think "the third person"..
but I'm not..!
but if people would think you that, you cant change them..

痛彻心扉,

我当下的感觉..

我宁可你一手把我推开,

也不要你牵着我的感情不放手,

你要知道,

你会把我的灵魂也牵走掉..

你也要知道,

爱你不是两三天的事..

为什么? 为什么该压抑的那个是我?

为什么该面对这些的是我?

为什么这些烂桃花离不开我?

我只想知道,

我的烂桃花还会持续多久?

我没有多少次可以负荷的了,

我没有多少青春可以把感情再浪费..

我很想哭,

我想要有个肩膀借我好好的哭~

因为你,

我慌神了一整天,

我慌神得带了两把雨伞陪我一起去上课 =(

do you know that?

you are a perfect boyfriend,

but you are a perfect heartbreaker too =(

tmr is having a EM test,

but so great,

i cry like nothing infront the laptop,

and i got no mood to study at all.

[ reo-pen ]

REoPeNN,

you may SPAM my chat-box =)

[ movie =) ]

this is my first time,
i wathced 3 movie in a week,
suppose to be 4 actually..
due to the timing problem XD
thanks for sengek jelly fish belaja movie as my birthday present.. do appreciate it =)
you?
you watched any movie for this week?

[ me, recently ]

alright..
i'm here to updated bout myself what sudah happened recently..
congrats me,
i have finished all my assignment and presentation =)
is like, finally! wohoo =)
but too bad lar, final is around the corner..
what to do?
this so call college life mar..
do used to enjoy it in another way =)
i lost my temper easily recently,
i don't know why?
phew..
and i lost control of speaking bad word too =(
sorry lar friends, if i make your guys felt uncomfortable, i apologize sini =(
LRT used to down and down recently,
its make my mood down together..walao >.<
don't down again please @@
cant you all just checked properly meh?
as i mention just now,
final is around the corner..
after final there will be two weeks sem-break =)
can i just disappear for two weeks?
although every one is planning where to go with college friend or even their best friend..
but i don't feel like go out with anybody..
just want to stay silently with myself..its feel good..
owh ya,
there is a places that i would go recently =)
its accompany me when i really down, do really help me alot..
firstly, i should thanks to rapid giving me chance so that i could go there whenever i want..
but i paid for it wan le XD LOl..
okay. i stop here..
i have no idea what should i continue to write.. =)

[ beloved peeps ]

feel abit fed up with my blog..
is getting update my blog lesser and lesser since i private it.
I'm lazy.
i know lar~
peeps, going to reopen my blog soon..
do wait me =)
something have forgotten by me..
i haven thanks to my beloved peeps ♥
they help me to celebrate my belated birthday =)
i miss them, i love them..
is getting lesser and lesser to meet with each other to..awww =(
too bad lar yor =(

alright, i love them more than boyfriend if i would have boyfriend =)

they are irreplaceable ♥

obviously, this picture is steal from ah teng, too bad there is don't have one of the pic in my camera=(