【 we live in a crew :D】

oh hey.

finally i got energy to blog here.

miss my bloggie!

was screw up all my energy pass few day with the mv shooting.

and i super duper wants to change my driving seat into massage chair so badly, itu sampat said im dreaming =.=

i can feel my soul is leaving me when im driving, so the one who driving is a robot!

oh you know, be a camera man is not than easy. oppsy! im a girl not a man :D

thanks to uncle sun.

he knows that we need him so badly, not just our crew but the whole DBC2.

he never leave us :)

i have a group of cute members. :)

sorry that not everyone is here.

sometimes our plan may not really going that smooth,

but we helping each other.

i learn a lot.

i try a lot.

i know a lot.

i experience a lot.

i giving a lot.

i pay a lot.

thanks to them.

although im tired although im being the driver.

but no doubt, we stress and laugh and happy together :D

we ruin the plan that going to FRIM for the shooting,

because we stupid until told the guard we are there to shooting.

they want us to pay RM300 if without college's letter.

expensive babi gila betul.

so what?

change our location,

was thinking to change another forest type location,

mana tau? jalan jalan kejap, so call director feels that under the flyover ada feel sangat.

so we stop there.

thanks to the talent,

because there is so smelly and a lot of dust.

i ate a lot of dust when i have to squat down to take the shoot.

she looks like a model than a singer inside a mv right?

im looking forward to our production.

kesia editor betul @@

we love you :)

ps: i love kai en's house, your house so big. although that day i fail to stay overnight at your house :O next time! lai pei han, go her open house together if her family organize it !

tired like a died fish

body pain like others punch me hardly

but i like the experience

like the laughing sound

love the tiredness

i forgot everything in those moment :)

【oh oh oh!】

no doubt,

they are cute :D

thanks a lot and i so lazy to edit although the photo be done to shoot for so long.

and i wonder why my words is underlining =.=

i cant figure out whats going on.

【想那么多屁干嘛？】

eh, 最近活得很平淡

平淡到我好像行尸走肉一样

平淡到我觉得自己好像不存在

平淡到我觉得世界空荡荡的

上课放学回家睡觉 就这样

我多久没踏进戏院了

我多久没逛街了

我多久没见那堆sampat了

然后问自己最近赖在床上的时间是不是久了很多

是 很多

我赖在床上赖到我懒到出门吃饭也懒去 懒到出汁

懒到衣服堆到没衣服穿了才甘愿洗

懒到我甚至想凉也不冲倒头大睡

懒到我想躺在床上用脚控制滑鼠

我是不是很邋遢？

但是我还是会受不了肮脏的厕所和遍地头发的房间

空荡荡地感觉 不好

望向左右两边 空荡荡

空荡荡

空到我突然怀念起幼稚园 小学 中学

我才想起原来我幼稚园上过台表演

我才想起我小学学过跳舞 上过台表演无数次 代表学校出外表演

我才想起我小学上过台唱歌 上过台演讲

我才想起我曾经很勇敢地站上台

我才想起我是田径代表

我才想起同辈的田径友因为考试放弃田径的时候只剩我一个人在坚持

我才想起我的坚持换来了很美的成绩

我才想起那漂亮的成绩让我带着上中学越战越勇

我才想起我曾经坚持过好久 坚持过好多

怎么我现在好像遇见风就会被吹倒一样？

我觉得自己好没用

我觉得自己越来越不堪一击

曾经世界时多么地精彩啊 对啊 曾经嘛

我怀念我在后台跑来跑去

我怀念我只有站在舞台上才比别人高的感觉

我怀念操场的味道

我怀念流汗的感觉

我怀念热辣辣的太阳下操步

我怀念跳墙逃课

我怀念背着老师偷吃

我怀念我在班上睡觉

我怀念那群有时候语言不通的同学

我怀念他们的拥抱

我怀念我们不分种族的合群

再怀念下去

我看我也是怀念不完

还有好多好多

你看看 你看看我

我就说我最近活得很平淡嘛

淡到我居然去想这些有的没的

淡到我怀念到即温暖又伤感啊！

还有还有

我很怀念那个可爱的初恋:)

【hey idiot.】

if you know me well,

you should know that.

i don't ever think try change you,

because not worth.

but you try to change my mind,

you push me to limit,

you push me to feel like a robot.

you fail.

you failed to be the one.

【 no others way, this is the only way 】

the way i survive

and

why i still alive

is to hiding myself.

【the tears smiling.:')】

别人的幸福

很容易把我给感染

轻易把我的低落带走

别人的幸福

可以让我打从心里会心一笑

别人的幸福

我会打从心里感到开心

别人的幸福

我会不由自主的给予祝福

别人的幸福

感染了我的泪腺

我

是那种看见别人幸福然后替他们流泪的人

别人?

对啊!

才发现

原来我告别了那种温暖的感觉

很久了

是怎样

我

忘了。

【是咩是咩？】

习惯我

我总是习惯性地延迟我爱post的东西

有mood就post咯

以下是我踏入第19年头循列那个蛋糕拍得照

我总觉得这照片很鬼的感觉

你看我那两个眼袋我的天

话说那天family steamboat 我抱到撑到要死

几百年一次的饱足感

那个虾大到

那个螃蟹新鲜到

我的肚子在响了=.=

嘿嘿

我喜欢一家人一起的家庭聚会

噢也许我跟姐姐们相处没有很多年就分开的缘故

以下这照片中的蛋糕都是为我们而设的

no doubt!

we all are JULY baby! :))

小孩总是大得很快

我也是那其中一个

你看啊这个鬼马的阿公与阿孙啊

可爱到~

我想回去小时候;(

我只想赖在床上

睡死去

管它睡个几天几夜！

我说我不爱把自己融入进陌生人群里

我说我怕陌生人

我说我讨厌在新人群里重新结交朋友

那个说：

你不是怕，

你不是不爱，

你不是讨厌，

你只是害怕受伤害。

为什么别人总是一语惊醒我

前提是惊醒我的人并不了解我的过去

害怕受伤害:/

【ten kiu】

我又开始对我的部落格恢复懒惰的状态

我真的很懒很累

我想睡死去

一个星期加起来睡都没有15小时

我的肩膀痛到我一个星期的衣服没洗堆到像山一样高了

啊 我忘了感谢祝我生日和替我庆祝的人

谢谢啊！我收到你们的心意了

因为7-11 我总是没办法忘记自己的生日

你们啊 干嘛全部选在这一天出世叻？

我不爱过 我讨厌过 我不喜欢过

但是别人的心意我还是得礼貌地收下

噢 你还是那么地多此一举 我不会作任何回应

谢谢你的电话

谢谢你的礼物 我好久没有好像小朋友这样收礼物了

谢谢这个八婆打电话给我

谢谢那个八婆扯我头发说生日快乐

谢谢那两个八婆的欠债信

谢谢你啊他啊你们啊他们啊

thankyou :)

想平淡的时候

别人给你想不到的

想不平淡的时候

别人把你给忘了

人啊

就是这样地奇怪

只是我选择了平淡

因为我过了爱做梦的年纪

倒数一年

我的人生就会进入第二个十年

【no.】

我不介意在这个时候被遗忘。

【hey you.】

我可以明白你

我可以体谅你

你可以发脾气

你可以不开心

你可以自暴自弃

但是你不可以看不起你自己

！

我只是心痛难过.

【stay there. stop walking towards.】

我总是让突然来的关心给击倒

我还是那么地不习惯

别人越关心我越对我好

我害怕

我总是想别人到底是不是有什么别的目的

我知道我想太多了

我不习惯人家的好

所以不要对我超出围墙的好

我不喜欢突然的友谊关心

所以不要越过那条界限

我只是懒惰解释自己怎么了

我只是不想交代我活得怎么样

我会选择把部落格收藏起来

因为我不想让我写下的东西让不懂我不了解我的人做无谓的猜测

我真的懒惰解释

也不愿意对别人交代我的人生

把你的关心收回去

真的关心我 把它收在心里

你越对我好

我越觉得自己脆弱

我只知道

人的好

不是必然的

也许真心

也许目的

我不想把好当成是真心的时候

目的出现了

很痛

我更不想真心是真心的时候

换我依赖过度

我不要

【:/】

i need someone else so badly,

but i need nobody when i fucking needs.

found out i am always alone when i need some one right beside me.

you or you?

【three two one GO!】

i know the feeling that what you had feel,

but you don't know the feeling that what i feel.

shit u babi.

annoying hate dislike pissed of and bla.

please differentiate your like and love.

oh god,

the serious traffic jam i had saw in night ever.

i make the right decision.

ktm, 1st time i love you than much.

i rather squeeze like a sardine than burn my petrol in the car.

but luckily i don't need to squeeze like a sardine.

a lot police standing at the ktm platform. 1st time juga =.=

i felt safe when i take ktm in the night due to the location problem. 1st time also.

alaaaa, don't care la.

the problem is gave up to work as part time tmr and sunday due to this kind of road block.

brainless =.= you think you can stop them if they really want to do so meh?

no brain betul.

and the stupid road block ruin my plan too, im planning to makan with myself the whole day.

but now? yeah no more. i have to STAY AT HOME. grrrrrr.

我从来没有期盼过

所以我并不觉得怎样

but

谢谢你逗我开心:)

【how to close my mouth?】

赖佩娴，

我跟你讲，

我们都缺少勇气。

我的嘴巴还是关不了

:O

【nothing.】

然后我失望的其实很多

我心痛的其实也很多

不只是你.

【you happy?】

i really have no fucking such idea.

peoples thought that i'm strong.

but you are fucking so shit wrong.

you think i can endure everything.

you think i'm a super women.

but you don't know,

i need a superman to help me solve all these shit so badly.

oh no, you are the only big hit!

once again,

you break it nicely.

thankyou :)

【oh stupid!】

the explanation is weird.

i just couldn't accept it.

i don't think that kind of things will happen on me.

i don't know what it means.

so fine.

【another dream.】

oh thanks to my sister bought this mickey lock for me from Disney land.
but i want go Disney land so badly instead of get this lock :O
tak apa, i will go there one day :D

rotten at home like usual,
i feel so damn lifeless.
i got no life because of her because of them.
i started feel that why am i being as a good girl when i was secondary student.
i missed out a lot of things.
i don't like to be a good girl now.
a good girl that what they want and what they think as a GOOD.
they make me no more friend no more life no more social perhaps.

i hate sunday.
i hate family day.
i hate why i got no family day on Sunday like others since i enter primary school.
i HATE!

oh what the hell
i dream again that i pregnant
the dream and the feel is still so real
this time i can even feel that my stomach is pain =.=
我要去找解梦师！

【hi tears :)】

你不脆弱
你不是最惨
你不是最可怜
你一定要坚强
所以
把眼泪收回去！

噢不！我控制不到.

你不懂，
我已经厌倦眼泪从眼角流出来的感觉，
更厌倦自己一个人在黑暗某处哽咽。

【妹妹要快乐】

我生在一个完整的家

有爸爸有妈妈

有四个姐姐

我有书念

吃得饱

穿的暖

比起单亲家庭破碎家庭看起来很好

这个家看起来很完整

我看起来很幸福

我有电话

我有DSLR

我有电脑

我有很多

但其实我丢了童年

我丢了青春

我丢了不能回头的过去

门开了

看见很亲切幸福的笑容

门关了

其实里面很破碎

妈妈 我不懂你

:~很破碎

妈妈你知不知道

我想有个家

曹格-妹妹要快乐

谢谢作这首歌的人

那两行热泪把我弄得不像人