【眼怨。】

mama mia,

tmr is the day!

let me enjoy it ya.

and pray hard hard everything is ok.!

oh please!

i miss my bed toilet and patrick. :(

still wondering wanna bring him go or not!

zombie panda here i come! :D

u go away la

potong steam je.

【someone help me pls.】

我打自己

我捏自己

我听伤心情歌

我看催泪的戏

我看催泪的文字

我都没有办法让眼泪从我眼睛挤出来

我望着那些文字和照片无动于衷

心脏的石头不停增加

心里挂着很多问号

然后我很难过

难过得要死

难过到流不出眼泪让我更想死

东西只往里头塞

却没有跑出来的空间

我很压抑

我要爆炸了

是不是忍泪太多

连哭也不会了

【knowledge of fart 】

他讲放屁也是一种发泄

我讲如果你让我对着你的脸放屁就真的是发泄！

欠打！

放屁是哪门子的发泄？

【nonsense. 】

当你觉得机会很多的时候

当你认为今天错过了还有很多明天的时候

也许你明天就会死掉了

或也许你明天后悔想补救的时候

后天死掉了

或也许很多事情会淡掉会改变

不要漠视时间的威力

因为我经常在漠视它

然后我不懂我自己在讲什么鬼。

斋影mou得饮！

我就来死掉了。

【wei~】

很久没有全部在一起sampat料

我很想念他们@@

【u choose.】

他讲：把伤口缝起来就好

我处于完全放空状态

他讲：要哭就哭

我哭不出来

然后一个石头两个石头三个石头四个石头

那些石头在我的心脏那里堆成了一座小山

那个让我哭到死去活来的唐山大地震我重看了也没办法活跃我的泪腺

活死人。

我的眼睛想尿尿

但是尿不出

真糟糕

film assignment make me so pek cek.

【i mau sotplug liao.】

its monday!

a monday without classes.

but i want to go out so badly,

i don't want to stay at home,

i don't want to face the wall! :S

sucks feeling.

and i so lazy to touch my assignment.

give me some strength pleaseeeeee.

原来我那两个月失控到一个月花了七百多块

现在没有钱用

我自己拿来的

dai sei!

【how?】

我不想睡觉，却又不想开着眼睛面对着世界。

give me alcohol,

give me cigarette.

【sampat betul.】

然后你让我看见的是

你确实不值得信任

你确实变得很快

你确实如我想象中的那样

第六感

谢谢你

你没有让我泥足深陷

只是我sampat到看错人也失落

看对人也难过

然后感慨的问自己为什么遇见的都是这样的人。

刚才那辆lorry差点让我命丧黄泉，做阴间hamburger =..=

另一边的另一个，

你会让我迷恋上这种关系。

不要教我太多。

【仙人掌没有刺还是不是仙人掌？】

严重的失落感

没有原因怎么办？

我呼吸不到

我什么也想不到

我什么也做不到

无力感很严重很严重很严重

我想累一下

我想靠一下

我固执

明明是却又不敢接受

想这个想那个

怕这个怕那个

怕鸟啊？

就是怕鸟

人家要有意无意这样出现我无法阻止

人家要有意无意让我看到我能怎样

越是有意无意我越是觉得我没有做错选择

男人要的总是来得快去得快

我有的是两袖清风

我告诉你，你奈我不了

偶尔我还是需要它来释放情绪

你们滚远一点

=.=

【心里不平衡;(】

突如其来的莫名失落感

有块很重很重的石头压在胸口

不懂失落什么屁股

整个人很down很down

我需要某些东西来调剂下自己:(

啊你可不可以再拿巧克力tam下我？

去还是不去？

雨天让我在大姨妈到访的时候很火爆。

看对人也难过

看错人也难过

我很sampat.

【so damn shit.】

feel so frustrated every time finish classes when the way i back home.

long distance like i couldn't reach home.

you all are just pissed me off.

you think of your son and asked my dad,

you think of your husband and ask my dad,

every time crush with my time. damn you all.

just think of your guys only, ended up im the one who always wait like a shit sampat there with one or two hours.

what is the different when he is still business-ing and now he is retired?

wait, i still have to wait. wait non-stop. im fucking hate and fed up with wait.

fuck my damn shit life.

you are so fake

just same like others i met before

you change like a transformer

i wonder what will happen if i trusted you in the beginning and put my leg into the mud.

must be so funny so bull shit and so stupid.

always trust one is better than two

you don't know, so you don't understand.

thank you,

another lesson.

hey,

i miss you suddenly!

:D

【part 2 - siiiiiiiikype.】

they make me hyper in the midnight.

2 of us talk 1 of the stupid type.

muahahahahaha!

my 1st time :O

【we chat we laugh :)】

:my way is you.

sengek so kiam pa!

【晴天娃娃:)】

有时候遇到那样的工作还是让我很无力

让我早放学后也很逃避早回家;/

但是看见爸爸的脸又会不由自主的愧疚

妈的我讨厌这样的感觉

我emo了一个早上=.=

我不小心爱上了晴天娃娃

我弄到眼睛很花

弄得很粗略

oh这个是弄给那个sampat montage的！

:)

自从她换工后

我几乎每天都在上映天若有情的戏码

老豆是华弟

我是jojo

但是这个剧情让我很sien

我的腰很累

=.=

然后最近班上也很流行华弟

因为那几个sampat

我记得.....

我：eh,那个华弟的女朋友叫什么名了啊？

up：叫死八婆！

=.=哈哈哈哈哈！

【sick in the city.】

i suddenly feel that human are so small.

everyone in the city is sickness.

i can understand you.

but don't burst your temper on me.

i am not born to deserve it.

i learn to control not to fall deeply.

no feelings, no hurts.

you got feeling, u blame me.

u get hurt, u blame me.

shit your kanasai.

the next i should learn is take whatever things as a lie.

lie.

i can't follow the city's step,

too fast too heavy for me.

i like kampung i like small town i like beach.

i want to live at the beach side with a small cafe or whatever.

let me dark like an indian or die in the tsunami also doesn't matter.

注定

一切都是

若你注定要死

你逃得过咩？

【i deserve it meh?】

hungry eat hungry eat

i eat a lot and money macam water flow away =.=

salary ptptn, cepat la duh!

hungry damn easily recently,

is like 2 hours hungry once time. sampat gila betul.

still not get used to go college, lazy Zzzzz.

lazy assignment lazy homework :O

but classmates make me laugh like an idiot always :D

their sampatness upgrade non-stop.

your name is so annoying.

so i become lesser and lesser to update my facebook status.

sorry. i just don't want to think about it.

i tak larat.

film subject make me boil movie all the time,

and i boil the horror movie in the midnight

scare my fucking ass off =.=

babi betul.

i don't like force to turn on the movie mood :/

auntie is going back on tmr,

im gonna miss her food gao gao :(

nangka curry pleaseeeeee~

everytime pick up the phone ada different pattern =.=

【lovely saturday rainy saturday :)】

saturday yeah!

alone at home and stay macam a worm now,

lazy to watch the movie for assignment.

alaa, later la!

i sleep until so satisfied,

eat until so satisfied,

dream until so satisfied.

my beloved auntie was here for few days,

her foods is so delicious! :D

i miss her foods a lot wei!

mango curry tonight weeeeee!

the awkward moment passes,

i hope.

i accept and overcome it.

and then i wish to get good response.

mum wants to buy another fridge,

and there is 2 fridge inside my house =.=

she gila she sampat she kisiao.

i dont know what she want to put inside the fridge and i always cant find anything to eat inside the fridge.

she wants to throw away the oldest fridge.

mummy, why u so rich? :O

我妈把我家那两只爱打架爱不分日夜乱啼的鸡宰掉了:(

我还没有把它们长大后的样子留下来叻！

妈妈说它们老了:O

可爱的是，

我跟老爸都在它们长大后才发现两个都是公鸡。

我姐讲了一句让我喷饭的话，

可能那只母鸡长大后变tb叻？

=.=

i dream that the follower request has been deleted,

but when i open the page just now,

it still here =.=

【freedom】

那个让我偶然遇见的蝴蝶:)

谢谢你

总是在我不如意的时候出现

我拥有了小蓝过后与你第一次的webcam

我不懂你在忙什么屁

忙到上网时间也没有

应该是这里与那里日夜颠倒的关系

所以没有办法遇到

在我所有事情一次过来爆发的时候

你的出现给我很大很大的安慰:)

seh seh ni！

这次是我bilibala的自己把话说完

心理学狂讲我有潜意识的报复行为

所以伤害了人也可以很boh rasa很理所当然继续我的日常生活

他讶异的是我爱到如此地厌倦

你讲得

很夸张真的有够夸张非常夸张

心理学狂这个名非你莫属

是我在逃避

还是我一早已经做了决定

还是事实证明我没有想象中爱他

我不懂

我只知道

他对我发脾气的那个晚上我一点感觉也没有

伤害过我的人

你没有第二次机会。

*

我叫他心理学狂

他叫我摄影狂人

:)

不见面

很好

见面了你我脑力必定满是他的影子.

我跟那只蝴蝶一样，

爱自由。

twitter,

1 new follower request.

我看不到看不到看不到.

【i wan to sleep.】

everything burst with my illness,

is okay.

although is really helpless.

it will just make me stronger.

so dramatic,

macam im the one who act in the drama.

skip film class make me so pressure,

1st time skip class skip till so pressure :/

the tutor stress us a lot. seriously.

she is the one make me countdown how many weeks left in this semester that i would not do like the pass semester even though i met miss yesu before.

so shit so damn.

what to do. 14 weeks left 11 weeks.

we still have to go on.

we still have to attend her class.

i miss those sampat :/

【:O】

要死

这几个礼拜乱花钱搞到我现在入不敷出

快点出粮给我please~

ptptn也快点出please~

我承认这几个礼拜over了

这几天over了

我努力克制当中

给我一点时间please

工作过后现在拜六礼拜习惯性地不想在家

妈的我今天又泡出去花钱了

下个礼拜要拿链帮着自己的手脚

我还有很多东西想要T.T

我没有力气理你

我看不到听不到

最后我很可能把电话摔掉

我会停止

最好你也是。

赖佩娴，

知道吗？

死亡是最无法避免的，

哭过就好了。

【yes, no big deal.】

i don't know since when i become like this.

i hate relationship.

i hate responsibility.

i hate girls together with boy.

shit you.

you should know who i am from the beginning.

i did not hide myself this time.

you pull yourself into my danger instead of i pull myself into danger.

i hurt u, at the same time, i hurt myself too.

not because of the love, not because of what, just a kind of guilty feelings.

you push me to the limit.

you deserve the pain, so do i.

you got your on way, but i have mine too.

your dream is too high for me.

i can't follow your step, i felt breathless.

you said you understand, but you gave me all this shit.

relationship annoying, non relationship also annoying.

i hate to be in between friends and relationship too!

if you cant accept that who the hell i am now,

leave.

you don't need to say, i know you fed up on my attitude.
but me as well.
you don't know, i started to handle well.
i can be ignore and forgot after woke up in the next morning.

money creates problem. he said.

money can makes you betray family, friends and love. she said.

shit, its true.

i blame nobody, but i blame money this time.

family problems from money,

relationship most of the problem from family.

back to the main problem,

money.

i love you, i hate you.

i got no feelings to all those words

i got no feelings to all those romantic

no mood makes me no feelings

forgive my manja-ness

you wont see that anymore

i don't want to rely on the can thingy or the bottle thingy or the stick.

they are just killing my cell.

thow mei li,

you are over,

you cross your limit,

stop and control yourself.

no big deal.