理由

无意的一句话..
还是会把我心里那一道伤口弄得隐隐作痛..
我还是找不到留在你们身边的理由..
除了责任..
我承认,
我自私..

我不哭,

我不想哭了,

我哭累了..

driving again

hey peeps!
im here finally..
it been few day dint on9..
cause i failed grab the laptop from my sis..
LolX..
having my 2nd driving lesson today..
i gonna be crazy man!
how horrible my driving is!
since im learning driving,
my speed should be slow rite?
even im on the highway?
i got my speed up to 100km/h today..
since uncle keep asking me to add up my speed..
so..i add lor..XD
but he suddenly want go petrol station,
is bcos the car is goin out of petrol,
but i din't realize it,
how dangerous was i?
i don't know y?
the petrol station is full of car..
i be slow in reacting..
that means?
my engine mati..aduh>.<
when on the way back,
the traffic is damn jam man!
scary=.="
my heartbeat raise suddenly..
i hate traffic jam >.<

i prefer that someone can drive me always=)

mei's bufday

i know..
yeah~
redbox again..
mei mei's turn today=)

my meal~

asam laksa=]

dang dang~

birthday cake for mei mei..

birthday girl=)

all of us~

i love k song always <3

nichi's dressing room~XD

XD

happy birthday to u~

^^

driving lesson

dang dang~
i drove someone out today..
LOl..

actually having our driving lesson..
hee..
uncle let us drive our self..
how dare he is? ==''
feel wanna drive the car and go on=)



her turn to drive..
when we exchange the place,
miss penguin forgot to free gear..
and i going to left down the car..
the car suddenly move forward..
we scream and laugh off our ass XD

XD

excited

going to learn driving later

wohoo..=]

my driving will be scary XD

baseball

baseball..
i had given my 1st time today to baseball =)
一直以来,
我站在大大的草场上只向着一个方向出发,
那就是我爱的跑步..
我喜欢在大大的草场上跑步,赛跑..
我喜欢汗一滴一滴的滴下来,
我喜欢大大的草场上一群人喝彩的声音..
我就是喜欢那样..
今天第一次打棒球,
我深深的爱上它了..
我喜欢一群人在草场上呼喊乱跳..
我喜欢一群人在草场上的追逐..
我喜欢一群人在草场上嘻嘻哈哈的大笑..
有找回我失去的童年感觉..

我就是当小孩的感觉..

我喜欢打棒球 =)
i fall in love on baseball <3

no exam! no study!

trial is in front of the door..
i don't want to study..
i don't like to study..
but seems like i have no choice..
why?
why exam?
why?
depressing..
i hate looking on my exam time table..
stupid~

没办法解释的心情

突如其来的一种落寞感..
心情陷至低潮..
我还能做些什么?
感情世界空白,
失去家庭的温暖,
失败的友谊..

那么多年来,
我从没试过向现在这样,
没有一个人让我思念,
就好像精神上少了一个依靠,
少了一股作用..
我从来没有试过向现在这样,
感情空白,
白得发黄,
黄的发臭..
虽然,
身边的确有一个很好的他..
长得帅,
不抽烟,
少喝酒,
最重要对我好..
但是,
我的心紧紧的死锁在我的躯体里,
飞不出去..
不是他不好,
只是他在错的时间出现了.
不要问我为什么那么执着,
我不知道.
我并没有在等谁.
那种问题就向我问你,
为什么你肚子饿要吃饭,
尿急要上厕所一样..
回答不出来..

我拥有一个不属于我的家庭,

比起没有家庭的人,

我是很幸福没错.

但老天总是公平的,

老天没有给你一个完整的家庭,

但却可能赐了你乐观开朗的性格去面对.

老天给了我一个完整的家庭,

但却丢下了一堆考验给我..

我忘了从何时开始,

我就是觉得我在这个家是多余的,

从小,

玩家家酒,

都是一个人分饰多角,

自己跟自己玩.

从来,

我都是自己一个人玩芭比娃娃,

姐姐们说我很幸福,

因为他们那个时候没有芭比娃娃玩.

是吗?幸福是这样的吗?

妈妈说的话,

我总是听不进耳,

然而爸爸说的一句胜过妈妈说的十句.

我不喜欢妈妈对我大吼大叫,

我会记得,

妈妈替我喜衣服,

向我收钱的那一次.

我为了忙自己的project忘了

把仅剩的两粒鱼丸吃掉而被她括了一巴掌.

现在,

为了一点小事,

我洗的衣服她不再替我收.

她偏心,我不能阻止..

没关系,

我忍..

反正我本来就知道自己在这个家不算什么.

那天,

她无心伤害的一句话,

狠狠的刺进了我的心,

她说,

我是被逼被带来这个世界..

是这样的吗?

她被逼背上高龄产妇这四个字,

被逼怀了我十个月,

被逼生了我下来.

而我就被逼成了他们的负担.

被逼和姐姐关系疏远,

都是这样的吗?

我此刻的心情,

又有谁能明白?

又有谁能了解?

如果我在他们心目中是坏女孩,

那么那些有学不上,

动不动就和所谓的男朋友离家出走的黄毛丫头,

算是什么?

朋友不用说..

因为失去家庭的温暖,

我爱跟朋友腻在一起,

然而,

真心的对待,

换来的却是可笑失败的友谊..

我想飞,

我想飞得远远,

但我渴望飞得更自由,

我不想背着女儿的责任就这样飞走,

我办不到,

做不出..

我更有想过一死了之,

但是死了又能怎样?

我叫天,

天不应,

我问地,

地不理..

神啊!

我该亲自去问你吗?

要是我亲自去问你,

却只能得到答案,

永远没机会改变我的一生..

天大地大,

没有一处容得下我,

我能去哪里?

还能告诉谁?

我,

无语问苍天='(

泪水湿尽了枕头..

lost again

the time still passes..
and it couldn't be stop because of me..
today is rainy day,
just like my mood..
i feel so depress suddenly..
i don't know where's the feeling come from..
like lost my way suddenly..
i don't know what to do,
i don't know where to go,
i don't know who to find..
i hope my time can stop by here...
not for a short second but...forever

i lost my way..

again~

帅哥与丑男

帅哥与丑男的形象差异

帅哥对女孩微笑: 窃喜
丑男对女孩微笑: 变态

帅哥留须: 性格不羁
丑男留须: 邋遢, 不修边幅

帅哥搭讪: 开心号召天下
丑男搭讪: 报警

帅哥看书: 斯文
丑男看书: 书呆子

帅哥做运动: 活力
丑男做运动: 减肥

帅哥睡着了: 可爱
丑男睡着了: 懒惰

帅哥口甜舌滑: 风趣
丑男口甜舌滑: 流氓

帅哥一言不发: 冷酷
丑男一言不发: 自闭

帅哥对女士礼让: 风度
丑男对女士礼让: 不怀好意

帅哥装豪迈: 男人味
丑男装豪迈: 粗汉一名

帅哥耍温柔: 体贴
丑男耍温柔: 娘娘腔

帅哥头发被吹起: 潇洒
丑男头发被吹起: 头皮屑别飞来

帅哥放屁: 一定是旁边那个丑男干的好事!

笑笑没烦恼=)

im back!

im back to school today!!
there's nothing change..
still the same..
same people,
same teacher..
same "voice" too..ehemm..
wear mask for whole day,
cause im not totally recover yet..
and it's not really comfortable @@
but got some benefit too =)
suck like,
i can eat in just way and don't need to worry that teacher could see it..
i can make silly face to teacher and someone but they can't see it..^^
i can titter when i saw something that funny but i could'nt laugh out loud..=)
i can give a yawn without care for my carriage..XD
and more..

there's a news for my school,
there's a confirm H1N1 case in my school..
but sekolah tak tutup ke? =(

人..

也许自己经历的东西比别人不一样或是比别人早,
所以每当别人提出他自己的问题时,
都可以猜想到故事去到最后会是怎样..
有时候经历得太多的确可以让自己成长,
但当看着别人正走着自己以前不堪回首的路时,
似乎可以感受到自己真的从伤痛走出来了,
只是自己偶尔还是会有点执着..
人就是如此啊,
平时道理连篇的,
倒头来不过如此..
平时很坚强的,
也许回家就抱着枕头大哭叻?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

自己拉的屎,

自己去清理,

不要老是留下烂摊子,

我没有义务替你赎罪,

替你收烂摊子..

滚远远去..

第三天..

第三天了..

怎么..生病的时间

过得特别慢的叻?

啊..!

真该死的病菌..!

昨天要老爸再带我去看医生,

老爸叹了好大口的气,

把我的心都快叹出来了..

对不起啦>.<

我也不想生病啊?

在非常时期生病,

日常生活和以前截然不同..

我拥有自己的餐具,

不能和家人的一起摆放.

抹了鼻涕的纸巾是丢进马桶冲掉,

而不是丢进垃圾桶,

有点浪费水的感觉@@

喝水的杯子,

每喝一次,

都得用肥皂洗干净..

在家也要无时无刻戴口罩,

须知我上有两老和几位长辈,

下呢?虽然还没有儿女啦,

但还有外甥..

小孩生病很可怜的啊..

好多天没好好吃一顿了,

整个人暴瘦下去了,

再瘦的话,

不堪设想咯..

哎..生病呗..真可怜..

想想最近H1N1病例不断暴增,

死亡人数渐渐增加..

搞得人心惶惶..

尤其生病的人..

政府除了在发现病例的地方加倍消毒外,

医疗设施表面看起来ok..

但谁知道里面到底是如何?

话说病人也要排泄,

排泄物里不可能没细菌吧?

怎么不见政府把排污系统和化粪池消毒去叻?

不对咩?

second day

hey peep!
im not going to school today..
and im still the same..
im not fine!
i does not look well anyway..
and look like more serious than yesterday@@
i got no more sore throat, but coughing all the way..
my hand still shaking..
and im still fever if never control by medicine..
and my body is damn pain and serious headache when fever..
and "they" have a "new friend" today..
i got flu!!
ishh..
i still remembered what doctor said yesterday..
doctor : yes? what happen to you?
me : i got sore throat and fever..
doctor : u coughing anyway?
me : no..
doctor : u got flu?
me : no..
( doctor do some checking)
doctor : ok, i give one day mc for tomorrow..so you just rest at home..
me : ok..
doctor : if u still fever in this three day, u must go hospital and check.
me : ok..
doctor : if tomorrow still like this come back and see me..
me : ok..
doctor : u look ok anyway, so i just treat u as sore throat and fever..u must have flu and serious coughing for that case..

=.=" what i must have serious coughing and flu for that case lar?? he mean H1N1? hey, pls be careful on your words lar doctor.. what the hell i must?? my god!
good..
i really got flu and coughing now..
means?
i have to back and see him again..
X.X

sick@@

miss mushroom!!

happy birthday!!

XD

im sick badly right now..

fever,

sore throat, abit cough..

my hand is shaking all the way..

my body is pain all the way..

feel dizzy all the way..

& serious headache too ='(

arh..

takut lar @@

i don't want to be sick!

i tak nak sakit!

我不要生病!

hey girls,

did ur feel ok who hang out together yesterday?

hope ur be fine..

must take care ya!

speechless =(

im in bad mood today anyway..
really so speechless..
i don't know what can i do for it again..
i have been suffer for one and the half year..
can't just all this be stop?
the feeling is back..again..
i really try hard..really..
i really don't know what should i do again..
my heart is tired='(

maybe im the who sholud left?

who should disappear?

可怕的男孩

时下的男生实在非常的不可思议..
可以无端端有人跑去问你朋友一个无聊到极点的问题..
可以无端端的莫名奇妙被人笑..
明白的人知道我在讲什么事的啦..
这件事,
有6个人知道..
6个人都问了我同一个问题..
:"你对人家做过些什么?"
拜托啦..
我没有,我没有,我没有,我没有,我没有啦~
就连他也取笑我耶..
我要伸冤啊~
不可能,不可能,不可能,不可能,不可能啦~
男孩们,
下次问问题之前,
请慎重的考虑清楚呗..

他有话说..

他说..
他那么久没见她,
看起来没什么改变..
依然没有长高,
依然瘦小..
但其实却变了很多..
她说,
是啊,
人越大,遇到越多事情..
也就会越不一样..
他说,
因为她的改变,
让他无辜地失去了她可能会给他的机会..
她说,
人总需要改变..
习惯就好..
他说,
就算变得再坚强,
也会有脆弱的时候.
只要她需要,
只要她不嫌弃,
他的肩膀随时可以让她依靠,
他的衣角随时可以让她擦泪.
她什么都没说,
只是发自内心,
给了一个感激的微笑..

他比她自己还了解她..

她总是说不过他,

他的话总是很有说服力,

他总是一眼就看懂她在想什么,

她总是没有事情瞒得了他..

她没什么能给他,

只能说,

谢谢你..

他与她..

他,
终于回来了..
他离开那天,
他告诉她说,
他一定会回来..

而他也知道,
她最近心事重重..
她最近很心烦,
她最近很落寞,
她最近很爱哭,
她最近脾气很不好,
她最近很情绪化..
这些他都知道..

他的关心,
他付出的感情,
她都知道..
她并不是无动于衷..
只是,
这并不是让她去接受他的时候..
因为,
她闯不开她自己心里的那一关..
她目前,
只想自己一个人生活..
不想把她的感情和任何人分享..
她的世界只想有她自己..
她相信..
他会明白她的..

for that..again

i have a wonderful headache now..
im going to bang my head to the wall..
i got no feelings with all the things..
just like missing my soul..
do everything without my control..
do everything that not i wanted to do..
im searching for something..
but i don't know what i searching for..
so complicated..
so ambivalent..

i realise that,

even when i speak or chat in english..

my word cant leave "whatever" too..

无所谓

原来..
身边的确是有很多自己发现不到的东西..
我发现,
原来身边都有很多对生活不满的人..
正如我自己一样..
把心底的那一扇门彻底的封闭了..
谁都不愿意让他们进来..
也正因为现在的世界,
有太多披着羊皮的狼徘徊在自己的身边..
不得不无时无刻的,
去保护自己,
去提防别人..

这样的生活,
过久了, 就会开始抱怨,
为什么这个世界会这样?
我..曾经也抱怨过..
但又如何?
会有答案吗?
地球不会因你忙碌而一天变曾25小时..
地球不会因你不开心而停止转动..
这个世界,
最得接受就是现实..

也许自己真的在渐渐长大,
也许思想因环境所逼开始大步的改变..
也许,
我真的变了..
我变得一切都无所谓,
只要你不越过我的边界,
只要你不得寸进尺..
我都无所谓..
很自然的..
我嘴边时常挂着"我无所谓"
这四个字..
我的口头弹..
对于过去,
就当作是一场梦好了..
我的未来,
也许会更精彩呢?

我可以忍受得了欺负,
我可以忍受得了冷言冷语,
我可以忍受得了背叛,
我可以忍受得了出卖..
一切一切,
都把它们加进了我可以忍受的名单里..
因为我相信,
做出这些举动的人,
是必须付出他们的代价..

对于一个我真的放下的人,
他身边的一草一木,
我都不会再有感觉..
他, 已曾了我生命中的一个过客..
我狠心吗?
我不!
他所做的一切,
比我放下他..更狠心..

对于我想感激的人,
我很想深呼吸一口再大声的说一万次谢谢..
但对我来说,
那并不足够,
我欠下的不只谢谢那么简单..
我欠下的是你们的人情,
你们的关心,
你们的保护..
只要我还活着的一天,
你们随时都可以来向我讨债=)

我的生命,

由我自己来决定..

thank you and sorry

i would like to thanks someone who shared
those meaningful words with me XD
i get the point..
thx^^
and thx u trusted me can handle everything too=)

i had calm down this few days,
and think alot..
i should'nt be weary of those nonsense..
i should'nt be angry for those stupid things..
i should'nt make myself mad because of ur guys..

i ask myself..
did u all will care bout my feeling after I
>angry?
>mad?
>unhappy?
>cry?
>out of control?
>even suicide?
but is too late if this is really happen..
the answer is in my heart..
i will accept it,
no matter how cruel it is..

or maybe..
i just only soberly at this moment?
and next moment i can get mad agian
and my temper is out of control again too?
maybe yes?
maybe no?
maybe i don't know..
but at least..
i calm down myself before..
i really tried hard before..

nvm..
i don't care..
the important is..
i knew that there is ppl really care bout me,
love me,
protect me..
i just can say "THANK YOU"..
*a sincere words from my heart..really.*
i should happy that im still alive now..
isn't it?

i learned how to say

"THANK YOU"

and

"SORRY"

for those faker

what had happened is just happen..
no one can change the truth..
even me myself..
i can do nothing when all the things happened..
i cant protect myslef..
i cant protect the person that get hurt even i know the truth from earliest..
i just know how drop out my tears..
i just know do something that can anaesthetize myself..
how fool i am and just because of them?
is that deserve? i ask myself..
the once i know what ur guys trying to do..
i know ur cant be trusted anymore!
even just a little bit trusted from ur also cant u know?
pls don't show the fake face to me that because of something..
i feel so weariness because of ur guys..
but anyway..
thanks those who really care about me..
thanks those who care about my feelings too..
thanks those who cherish me..
really thank alot..

im the one who evade the problem before something happen..

but now the situation had change..

u are the one who evade after somethings happen..

请不要逼我到尽头

im in low spirits..
im in nervous breakdown..
i have a body without soul..
i have a heart without feelings

yes, im mad! ='(

请告诉我,

我没有相信错人..

请告诉我,

一切都是一场梦..

请告诉我,

我的眼泪是白流的..

请告诉我,

我的想法是白想的..

请告诉我,

一切都没有改变..

我拥有一个不谓人知的假面具..

虽然戴得不是很舒服..

至少,

依然还在我忍耐的范围当中..

请不要逼我撕破我的面具..

神...我有罪,

我可以向你倾诉吗?